The Journey Continues

I have been on a journey for some time now; a journey to becoming completely surrendered to God's will for my walk with Christ. As I travel this road, He continues to show me things -- many, many things that He wants me to let go of. This is the story of one of them.

As I turned into the Walmart, I noticed a man standing in the island between the enter and exit lanes. He was holding a cardboard sign that I couldn't read because he was facing the exiting traffic. I was a bit curious, but didn't turn around to see his sign.

On my way out after shopping, the traffic light was red, and there were four or five cars in front of me. But I could clearly see both the man and the writing on his sign, "Homeless family with children, please help." The man was clean-shaven and neatly dressed. I reached into my wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill. I motioned to him, rather than wait until the light changed, and he took the offering with a polite "thank you." As he walked back to his spot, the woman in the car ahead of me began talking with him and gave him money as well. It seemed like time stood still while they conversed, and I was pleased with myself for my act of kindness.

Then the light changed and so did my heart. The Holy Spirit grabbed hold of me and brought me to tears with a profound truth about my "good deed." I was instantly stricken with guilt as He told me, "You just judged that man, looking him over and sizing him up to see if you could detect anything false about his character. You looked at his clothes, his cleanliness and his demeanor." What if the man had not been clean shaven? What if his clothes were tattered and dirty? What if he looked like," (imagine here the images that were flashing through my mind). Sadly, I had to admit that I probably would not have reached into my wallet if he had looked like the images that were flashing through my mind. Shame on me. On the way home, I confessed I had judged the man without knowing his heart, asking for forgiveness and healing from this sin. I thanked God for revealing it to me in such a powerful way; for piercing me through.

In my prayer journal the next day, I wrote, And once again you have revealed to me yet another area of my life that has not been fully surrendered to you, God. And I wondered if a lifetime of surrendering would ever be enough. I asked Him to show me everything I needed to do to "surrender all." And I also prayed that He would guide my pen so that I might share the lesson I learned with others.

That prayer has now been answered as I write this some twenty months later. 

And my journey to surrender? It continues -- how about you?